Holy Moly, 80’s. We’ve Listed All the 80’s Cult Classics, So That You Don’t Have To!

Those of us that have spent our informative years at some point in the 80’s are enjoying all the nostalgia that’s being inserted into pop culture today. From the quips and one liners that pour from every pore of Ryan Reynolds in Deadpool, to Stranger Things which basically gives youngsters of the millennial persuasion a first-hand look into what it was like to be a teenager coming of age in the 80’s (with, ya know, mind powers and other dimensions). With shows like these on the rise, I’m consistently reminded of the good times from my childhood – life before memes, status updates and “there’s an app for that.”  

So, I did what any sane person with rational thought would do. I bought fourteen cases of Tab soda and stayed awake for three and a half weeks straight watching every movie released in the 1980’s, for you, my loyal fan (HI SCOTT!). While my eyeballs did end up slowly bleeding, I came upon two universal truths about the decadent decade that decapitated disco: 1) Hairstyles in the 80’s were ridiculously horrendous. I’m talkin’ head hair, chest hair or pants hair. Ugh. Pass. Hard Pass. Every set from the 80’s must’ve felt sticky and smelled like Aquanet. 2) The lack of technology, like we have today, was maddening. I remember watching ‘Clash of the Titans’ last week and the claymation monsters were laughable, but uber “realistic” in their time. As a society, we are all spoiled by technology. 

To show you how dedicated I was to my “three weeks of the 80’s” challenge, I’ve compiled a list of over 100 cult classics from the time when seat belts were optional, spankings involved belts, the streetlights determined curfew and John Hughes ruled the day!

9 to 5 Ernest goes to CampOverboardThe Goonies
A Fish Called WandaEscape From New YorkPee Wee’s Big AdventureThe Last Dragon
AliensEvil Dead 2Plains, Trains & AutomobilesThe Last Starfighter 
AmadeusExplorers PlatoonThe Legend of Billie Jean
An American Werewolf in LondonFast Times at Ridgemont HighPolice AcademyThe Lost Boys 
Back to SchoolFerris Bueller’s Day OffPretty in Pink The Monster Squad
Back to the FutureFirst Blood Raging BullThe Neverending Story
Back to the Future: Part twoFlash GordonRaiders of the lost ark The Outsiders 
Batteries Not IncludedFlight of the NavigatorRain ManThe Predator 
Better Off DeadFright NightRaising Arizona The Princess Bride
Beverly Hills CopFull Metal JacketRed DawnThe Road Warrior (100)
BigGremlins Repo Man The Running Man
Big Trouble in Little China HeathersRevenge of the NerdsThe Shinning 
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure HighlanderRoboCopThe Terminator
BladerunnerHoney, I Shrunk the KidsScarfaceThe Thing
Blue VelvetHoward the DuckShort Circuit The Toxic Avenger
CaddyshackIndiana Jones and the Last CrusadeSixteen CandlesThey Live
Clash of the Titans Indiana Jones and the Temple of DoomSpaceballsThis is Spinal Tap
ClueJohnny Be GoodStand By meTime Bandits
Coming to America Labyrinth Star Wars: The Empire Strikes BackTop Gun
CommandoLegend Star Wars: The Return of the JediTron
Conan the BarbarianLess Than ZeroStripesTroop Beverly Hills 
Conan The Destroyer Lethal Weapon Teen WolfUHF
Dark Crystal Little Shop of Horrors The ‘BurbsUncle Buck
Die HardMasters of the Universe The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonsai: Across the 8th Dimension Videodrome
DragonslayerMeatballsThe Blues Brothers WarGames
DuneMidnight RunThe Breakfast ClubWeekend at Bernie’s
E.T.Naked Lunch The Evil Dead Weird Science 
Elvira: Mistress of the DarkNational Lampoon’s VacationThe Garbage Pail Kids MovieWillow

While some of these films were big budget Blockbusters in their day, that doesn’t mean that they can’t be cult classics too! All of these are great movies, even the ones that you probably have never heard of or seen. I could go on and tell you my opinionated review of a movie that came out almost forty years ago, but I won’t. I insist you watch these entertaining films for yourself. In fact, if you haven’t seen these films you’re missing out. Everybody else will get the jokes that you’re not privy too, and we’ll all laugh at your ignorance. The only way to get ‘in’ on the jokes and fall back into our good graces is to watch all 100+ movies… Pitter-patter!

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Author: B.Dam

"... I'm a devious, degenerate; defender of the devil, shut down all trash compactors on the Detention Level!..."

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